I started this blog to talk about mental illness and I haven't really said much about that in awhile. Sometimes well meaning Christian folks think the best solution is to imediately cut off any feelings of depression or discouragement. I was reading Psalm 77 this morning, and it is interesting to note David's process. Sometimes you have to start where you are to move to a better place. We don't have "Beam me up Scouty," machines around here. David cried out to God in verse one. He says in verse three that his spirit is "overwhelmed." By verse seven you can see he is loosing hope. "Will the Lord cast me off forever...Is his mercy clean gone forever?" In verse ten he resolves, "This is my infirmity." David spends the rest of the Psalm praising God and remembering who He is. We don't know how long that process took. Allow me to walk beside you and say that you will be okay. God is still listening and He still cares. Can he heal and remove it all? Sure, He can. Remember it took one hundred years to build the Ark. Keep hanging on and don't loose hope.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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