Have you ever been fine? You don't have an incurable disease. You aren't in
unbearable pain. Therefore you are fine. Right? I am having one of my manic
spells. For me that means my thoughts are racing extra fast and it's difficult
to focus. I have trouble going to sleep. And as is with bipolar, the more sleep
I looss the worse it gets. I think it's getting a little better which means get
ready for the depression. Physically I am dealing with some chronic food
allergies and skin allergies that are making things fun. Sometimes those little
things matter yet people shake there head to say, "That's no big deal."
Sometimes I need to people to care about the no big deals of my reality. It
doesn't make anyone's BIG DEAL any less important. Still people I know lost a
husband, a father, a mother, a sister, a brother, or a friend. I am so sorry for
their loss. The friends I lost most recently were to Cancer. Not CoVid. More and
more people are surviving Covid yet Cancer still kills so many. I just needed a
rant to calm my head down. I don't have anything inspirational to say.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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