Have you ever been fine? You don't have an incurable disease. You aren't in
unbearable pain. Therefore you are fine. Right? I am having one of my manic
spells. For me that means my thoughts are racing extra fast and it's difficult
to focus. I have trouble going to sleep. And as is with bipolar, the more sleep
I looss the worse it gets. I think it's getting a little better which means get
ready for the depression. Physically I am dealing with some chronic food
allergies and skin allergies that are making things fun. Sometimes those little
things matter yet people shake there head to say, "That's no big deal."
Sometimes I need to people to care about the no big deals of my reality. It
doesn't make anyone's BIG DEAL any less important. Still people I know lost a
husband, a father, a mother, a sister, a brother, or a friend. I am so sorry for
their loss. The friends I lost most recently were to Cancer. Not CoVid. More and
more people are surviving Covid yet Cancer still kills so many. I just needed a
rant to calm my head down. I don't have anything inspirational to say.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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