I have contemplated whether or not we should or shouldn’t do a lot of things lately. Truly those are personal decisions. Although our choices always can effect those around us, we aren’t in the business of forcing our ideas on others. Faced with missing out on special times I love and missing my friends and family it isn’t easy to choose to isolate. I was looking for a Bible verse to try to get some clarity. I actually asked for an out loud Gideon sign and got one. It was clearly a “No.” Reading Romans just reminds me that we need Jesus to help us because we cannot understand God’s will on our own. Sometimes the “No” we listen to is really important. I can still remember the loud whisper when I was young. I tried to do something foolish. God clearly said,”No.” But Roman reminds us nothing can separate us from His love.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
Comments
Post a Comment