Had a difficult week with my IBS or whatever it is that makes it hard for me to eat many types of food and the ones I can eat don’t come through properly. I have been bloated and uncomfortable every day. The medicine isn’t working to relieve anything so I stopped taking it. Now I am experimenting with stool softener plus probiotics. I know gross. But just like mental health, people don’t want to hear about your digestive issues. I am getting discouraged. I have gained weight in the last few months and I am not eating that much. I actually skip way too many meals because if I am extremely full so to speak there just isn’t anymore room. I need a colonoscopy, but I am too young. Basically, I am not sick enough. I wonder if it’s the hormones from premenopause. Who know. I am a person that needs to talk it out to process. It’s hard to not be able to do that. I thought about the whole mental health thing too. Truth be told, I stink at relationships. I sabotage them, blow them up, ruin them, and miss judge them. I don’t know if it can get better. I hope I die first cause hubby is the only one who puts up with me. No that’s not a cry for help. I fine. Just need my body to work again.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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