The last few days have been physically and emotionally challenging. I got to the point where all I could do was lay down and sleep. The physical pain would not relax until I completely let it all go. Sometimes that is the experience we have to face. Nothing I do is going to fix it. Nothing I say is going to make it untrue. Simply calm down and relax. Let the ripples of water run down the stream. It’s one of my places of deepest relaxation. To imagine the water flowing gently over the rocks. “My soul praises the Lord and my voice rejoices in God my Savior.”
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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