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Cleaning out some cobwebs

I have said a lot in the past about the swirl of thoughts in my head. I realized that I have difficulty removing them without writing things down. Read over                I Corinthians 5 today and thought, “How do I take captive what I can’t identify?” I ended up in Psalm 139. I can have confidence after reading that, that God does know exactly what’s in my head. For the moment anyway, I am letting Him deal with it. It does make sense that He would give them to me a little at a time. I know I have a fear of abandonment and isolation. That goes back to a little girl whose parents didn’t know what to do with her. My husband says to me, “I am a lot.” I get that. But believing somewhere in my mind that I will be left behind by EVERYONE isn’t a lie I want to hold onto. I felt God with me early on even when I wasn’t sure where everyone was. He never left me. So if God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, He will never leave me. I fear the unknown. Do you ever struggle with that? It can add this invisible dread to life. I don’t want that. When I imagine meeting Jesus, it’s like the sun comes on at full force and I’m surrounded with warmth. I can’t picture anything else. Just brightness. My life could use less heaviness. I lay aside the weight. I cast aside the ugly thoughts, the fears, and the pain. I ask for God to help me today. If you’re reading this, may you be blessed today too.

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