I open this post with a quote,”But as for you, ye thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good…” There are often times when something happens that we just can’t understand. Why? Why is this happening? I have tortured myself with questions and pillows of self doubt convinced that I am blowing up all my relationships. But whether or not that is true, I still don’t know. What I do choose to believe is that God still continues to work things out for good in my life (Romans 8:28). I saw that happen yesterday when one person’s snub opened up another’s welcome. I know it sounds weird, but my point is that you can’t yet see the good that’s going to happen. If hasn’t happened yet. Don’t be discouraged. It’s coming.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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