This morning I got up and as usual the blood pressure dropped. I tripped over a laundry basket and found myself on the floor. I had the hardest time getting up with my blood pressure still so low. It’s a weird feeling like your head is falling and the rest of you wants to do the same. Yet I did get up and everything passed. Not sure if that’s a metaphor for how difficult it is to get up when we are down low or for the things in life that try to pull us down. It feels like you aren’t going to get through, but you do. It seems to difficult to get up, but you can. Psalm 139:8-10 was in my head this morning. Whether I am up high or down low, God is there.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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