The last few days have felt like piles and piles of rocks. Things felt heavy and my physical body responded in kind. Achy and weighted with physical and emotional struggles it hasn’t been super fun. I felt so disconnected from everyone it’s hard to explain. I think it was my valley after a mountain top. I don’t handle the swing down too gracefully. A lot of people hurting right now and I am definitely helpless to do anything. But the family thing always gets me. We lift out. Anyway, I did my devotions in effect to leave the rabbit hole. “I know whom, I have believed, and He is able to keep that which I,ve committed unto Him against that day.” From an old hymn. Probably Scripture in there somewhere(:.(II Timothy1.) Sometimes I just feel bad. That’s part of life. Tomorrow might be better. We don’t have to be happy all the time.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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