Skip to main content

Faith in God

 Anyone who knows me well, and let’s be honest that’s a very small group of people, knows I like attention. I mean it just goes along with that youngest child classification. I think age and experience have made me weary. I was sick this week. I had a severe asthma attack and it has taken four days to feel like I can walk without loosing my breath. I didn’t want to tell anyone. I realized with all the CoVid fear(I don’t have CoVid), that I just wasn’t worth the explanation. You can’t be just sick. I didn’t want my friends to declare me instantly well when it was clear my body needed the rest. I didn’t want speculation over what or who caused this. It was a cold and it’s going around. Now I have that ear pressure problem that makes it hard to stay upright, but hopefully that will pass quicker than the other did. I just excepted the stillness. Maybe that’s not always bad even if we don’t understand it. “Psalm 56:4 In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust, I will not fear what flesh can do unto me.” David wrote this when he was running for his life from King Saul. He came to live with enemies of Israel for a time. He acted crazy to escape punishment and earn their trust and stayed in Gath for sometime. It doesn’t end so well being that God’s enemies will eventually want to attack David’s people. In it all, good and bad, David trusts God. It’s easy to see he makes a lot of mistakes. It’s his constant faith that brings him so much mercy from God. He has that same mercy for me; Every single day.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

A Little Shower

 I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...

I Threw Out the Moon

  My son made a paper mâché replica of the moon when he was younger. Being the consistent pack rat that I am it was still here in our living room. I am trying to clean everything up and believe or not, throw out the stuff we don’t need. Do you find it hard to throw away stuff you don’t need, remove things you shouldn’t have, or give up things you need to? It is different for everyone, but we can probably all relate to that in some small way. If you’re wondering how I got here you’d have to go way back. Growing up I didn’t have a lot of friends. It was my toys and me. My imagination gave them personalities. Could it be that I don’t need that stuff anymore? Could it be that I have real live people who are right here and worth much more! It won’t be easy, but I am willing to do the work. I will trash the unwanted books if I have to. I don’t expect people to understand, but maybe hold back the judgment. Cause like I said before, everyone struggles with something. Maybe it’s giving...

Thicker Skin?

 I have come to believe that I don’t have thick skin for a reason. I am a Caregiver at heart. I am thankful though that I finally have a few people in my life that are willing to love me through my imperfections. There are some people who maybe haven’t forgiven me because they are still holding onto their own past. I don’t want to do that anymore. That means I have to forgive myself too. So for that person who still can’t forgive me, I am sorry I hurt you. Period. I didn’t know then what I was doing wrong, but I do now. You can get in line with the other people who won’t forgive me. That one over there, hurt me by cutting me out of her life. I didn’t react well. And now we are cut out of each other’s lives. That other one didn’t understand me, and also cut me out. I didn’t actually do anything to her other than be my big present self. Again, learning from it. That one over there… I judged her believing I knew better. You see why I call it a graveyard and it really stings sometimes....