I am having one of my diverticulitis spells which means I am in pain and need to wait it out. I used to go to church anyway and would end up on the floor in the nursery. Did that quite a few times. I was expected to be there. My issues were considered imaginary. At least that’s how it felt if I ever tried to get some support. FYI your not supposed to talk about problems with your gut. Anyway, I realize that people wonder and we don’t tell them much because…already said. I am thankful it’s not that bad. I don’t have anything serious. I am thankful that my dietary restrictions have cut way down on these episodes. Yes, God is in control. Yes, I still thank Him. I so often wonder why? I get the chronic little irritants, but nothing serious. I face a little difficulty all the time, while others face Giant diseases and traumas. I guess God knows I need the little pokes more often rather than a big shove. He knows I had enough shove in my life and gives me so much tenderness. Which must mean He knows what everyone else needs too. “My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19. Praying for my sick friends. Oh and you never have to pretend around me. Just be honest. Let’s bare each other’s burdens as God intended.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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