Skip to main content

Can We Stop Pretending?

 I am having one of my diverticulitis spells which means I am in pain and need to wait it out. I used to go to church anyway and would end up on the floor in the nursery. Did that quite a few times. I was expected to be there. My issues were considered imaginary. At least that’s how it felt if I ever tried to get some support. FYI your not supposed to talk about problems with your gut. Anyway, I realize that people wonder and we don’t tell them much because…already said. I am thankful it’s not that bad. I don’t have anything serious. I am thankful that my dietary restrictions have cut way down on these episodes. Yes, God is in control. Yes, I still thank Him. I so often wonder why?  I get the chronic little irritants, but nothing serious. I face a little difficulty all the time, while others face Giant diseases and traumas. I guess God knows I need the little pokes more often rather than a big shove. He knows I had enough shove in my life and gives me so much tenderness. Which must mean He knows what everyone else needs too. “My God shall supply all your need according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19. Praying for my sick friends. Oh and you never have to pretend around me. Just be honest. Let’s bare each other’s burdens as God intended. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

A Little Shower

 I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
Post a Comment
Read more

I Threw Out the Moon

  My son made a paper mâché replica of the moon when he was younger. Being the consistent pack rat that I am it was still here in our living room. I am trying to clean everything up and believe or not, throw out the stuff we don’t need. Do you find it hard to throw away stuff you don’t need, remove things you shouldn’t have, or give up things you need to? It is different for everyone, but we can probably all relate to that in some small way. If you’re wondering how I got here you’d have to go way back. Growing up I didn’t have a lot of friends. It was my toys and me. My imagination gave them personalities. Could it be that I don’t need that stuff anymore? Could it be that I have real live people who are right here and worth much more! It won’t be easy, but I am willing to do the work. I will trash the unwanted books if I have to. I don’t expect people to understand, but maybe hold back the judgment. Cause like I said before, everyone struggles with something. Maybe it’s giving...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thicker Skin?

 I have come to believe that I don’t have thick skin for a reason. I am a Caregiver at heart. I am thankful though that I finally have a few people in my life that are willing to love me through my imperfections. There are some people who maybe haven’t forgiven me because they are still holding onto their own past. I don’t want to do that anymore. That means I have to forgive myself too. So for that person who still can’t forgive me, I am sorry I hurt you. Period. I didn’t know then what I was doing wrong, but I do now. You can get in line with the other people who won’t forgive me. That one over there, hurt me by cutting me out of her life. I didn’t react well. And now we are cut out of each other’s lives. That other one didn’t understand me, and also cut me out. I didn’t actually do anything to her other than be my big present self. Again, learning from it. That one over there… I judged her believing I knew better. You see why I call it a graveyard and it really stings sometimes....
Post a Comment
Read more