I feel like I am outside of myself watching life. That is how the depression stage feels right now anyway. Yes, the sun is shining and it will get better. Just that waiting for it to pass stage. Trying not to skip medicine. I tend to forget when I need it the most. Trying to do better. I actually look forward to going out. I just need motivation. So this is normal. I am hoping to take on more work in the future too so I have more to look forward to then .. this. I choose to be transparent on here. I might seem like a bunch of blah, blah, complaining to you reading this, but it’s me getting it if my head. People need to be allowed to do that. People need to be able to release the burden of their shoulders without dismissal and judgment. I AM okay. I know that. And I figured out that this time it’s mostly physiological not emotional. Meaning if I get the medicine stabilized and the food figured out, I WILL start to feel better. In the meantime, it’s okay to not be okay. Trying to just do what you do. Get up and go anyway. “He hath made everything beautiful in his time:”Ecclesiastes3:11
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
Comments
Post a Comment