I feel like I am outside of myself watching life. That is how the depression stage feels right now anyway. Yes, the sun is shining and it will get better. Just that waiting for it to pass stage. Trying not to skip medicine. I tend to forget when I need it the most. Trying to do better. I actually look forward to going out. I just need motivation. So this is normal. I am hoping to take on more work in the future too so I have more to look forward to then .. this. I choose to be transparent on here. I might seem like a bunch of blah, blah, complaining to you reading this, but it’s me getting it if my head. People need to be allowed to do that. People need to be able to release the burden of their shoulders without dismissal and judgment. I AM okay. I know that. And I figured out that this time it’s mostly physiological not emotional. Meaning if I get the medicine stabilized and the food figured out, I WILL start to feel better. In the meantime, it’s okay to not be okay. Trying to just do what you do. Get up and go anyway. “He hath made everything beautiful in his time:”Ecclesiastes3:11
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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