True we are from dust and to dust we will return. I am just reflecting on our messed up life. That we keep people at arms length or more accurately they keep us. I have excepted my bipolar has that effect on people. If I am capable of saying things I wouldn’t normally say then I become this unsafe person. I still don’t understand the allusion of protecting my feelings. Maybe people still think mental illness makes you dumb. We are just lying here, hubby is joking about death because he’s sick, and I’m like… wait, if we did die who would notice. How many days would we just lie there? Haven’t slept well in three days so absolutely not coming from healthy place. Just saying. We might need to reconsider moving. Cause family might not LIKE the things we say and do that we shouldn’t, but they still love us. And that’s saying something.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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