Today is one of those days when no matter what I might want to do, my engine is just stalled. Whether physical or emotional exhaustion, sometimes your body just has to rest. Today my blood pressure was low and it feels like a force is pulling me back down every time I try to get up. Since this isn’t my first time having to readjust prioritize to plans for health reasons, I just go with it. I have one of those hidden conditions which people often think is a figment of my imagination. Well, they say ignorance is bliss for a reason. Going to embrace the rest today. I am thankful I don’t have to do this every day. ‘God is my refuge and strength,”a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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