I have a long way to go in the healing myself from the inside out process. I feel the love of God. I don’t just believe it. It’s like laying in the sun and letting the warmth surround you completely. I am not responsible for other people’s reactions or issues with me. That one is huge. And shock of all, not everything that happened is my fault. I can brush that off and walk away. I can stop beating myself up for stuff I can’t even identify. Cause God still loves me. I am not a mistake, but His perfect design. Yes, every part that you think is broken, He has a purpose for. And for my close family who doubt it, Come as you are. Jesus knows who you are. He is the One who does the washing. You can’t do that yourself. Just come. Hugs.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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