I am doing the deep thinking asking when I was no longer good enough? When did I have to start changing to be acceptable enough to be loved. I think it started pretty early. I believed if the way I was naturally wasn’t enough. My hair wasn’t blond enough. My size wasn’t cute enough. Point. If I can figure out when this started maybe I can start to walk more freely in the body God gave me. I remember a friend telling me once that people dye their hair to be my natural color. I got tired of trying to change it. The source of the lie didn’t even intend that message. So I can stop repeating it. God knew me “before “ . He knows what He’s doing. I haven’t got any further yet so that’s all I have today.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
Comments
Post a Comment