I overheard someone say bipolar in a derogatory tone. Seriously?! I know the source is ignorant, but it still stung. Why? You don’t act that way about someone who has a physical illness. I can’t allow that to blow up the restoration I am trying to build. God is good and my life is good. I know that the way I am is the way I am supposed to be. I see the good there. If You want to see it as some kind of evil I didn’t overcome, that’s your issue, not mine. I see you. I see you’re not perfect either, but I see the value in all your good qualities. Can you do the same? Sometimes people are many layers of different things. We can point out ugly. We all have ugly. Or we can point out the positive. Once you start digging for gold you’ll see so much more of it.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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