It’s hard to explain how my mind works.Often I take in too much and have trouble focusing when there are lots of distractions. Add to to that a swirl of too much information in my head, and I struggle to pay attention to anything. When it’s bad, I read and listen to music. I wait for it all to pass. But that’s all about me, and this next part isn’t about me. Sometimes I just sense someone is upset, stressed, or having a bad day. Often times that has nothing to do with me. I have started telling myself, “it’s not about you.’ Then simply have to figure out if it’s best to ignore their upset or try to help. Sometimes that person really needs the encouragement and that’s fine. I am trying to do it quietly. Another words the opposite of my usual nature because it’s not about me. I had someone on my mind today. Someone who let’s just say isn’t my biggest fan.🤣. I could tell she was worn out and struggling. But anything I say isn’t received well cause it’s me. So I just prayed for her. I gave her a Bible verse one of my favorites and still don’t know if that was a bad idea or not. Sometimes God make us do the hard thing that makes no sense. And like I said, “It’s not about me.” We all have our own struggles. Teaching about Moses the first time he goes to the Pharaoh. He was obeying God and doing what he was supposed to do, but the people were punished because the pharaoh was angry. But so many of the situations I find myself in don’t even compare to that. It’s more like we can’t let go of the garbage from the past so it’s damaging our future. And it can be some pretty tricky stuff when you don’t even realize what you’re hanging onto.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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