It’s hard to explain how my mind works.Often I take in too much and have trouble focusing when there are lots of distractions. Add to to that a swirl of too much information in my head, and I struggle to pay attention to anything. When it’s bad, I read and listen to music. I wait for it all to pass. But that’s all about me, and this next part isn’t about me. Sometimes I just sense someone is upset, stressed, or having a bad day. Often times that has nothing to do with me. I have started telling myself, “it’s not about you.’ Then simply have to figure out if it’s best to ignore their upset or try to help. Sometimes that person really needs the encouragement and that’s fine. I am trying to do it quietly. Another words the opposite of my usual nature because it’s not about me. I had someone on my mind today. Someone who let’s just say isn’t my biggest fan.🤣. I could tell she was worn out and struggling. But anything I say isn’t received well cause it’s me. So I just prayed for her. I gave her a Bible verse one of my favorites and still don’t know if that was a bad idea or not. Sometimes God make us do the hard thing that makes no sense. And like I said, “It’s not about me.” We all have our own struggles. Teaching about Moses the first time he goes to the Pharaoh. He was obeying God and doing what he was supposed to do, but the people were punished because the pharaoh was angry. But so many of the situations I find myself in don’t even compare to that. It’s more like we can’t let go of the garbage from the past so it’s damaging our future. And it can be some pretty tricky stuff when you don’t even realize what you’re hanging onto.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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