I can’t tell you how many times I have looked into someone’s eyes after they said, “Fine,” and knew that just wasn’t true. If we the church are supposed to bring our burdens to Lord together, why are we having to hide our troubles. Why are some problems considered insignificant or simply not appropriate. When I am laying on the bathroom floor trying to stay conscious is that really too indelicate for my God to handle. I think part of the reason why I have trouble asking him for help is because I spent so much of my life hiding pain. Making other people happy was the focus and truly that fuels the people pleaser to a point. But this isn’t just me. As I said, other people do it too: all the time! Sometimes because they don’t want to complain, and sometimes cause they just don’t won’t anyone to know. Okay, I get it. It’s private and so painful you just can’t share it, but it’s likely that like me you haven’t been able to ask God either. Like we’re keeping that problem all to ourselves. I am starting to think until I believe God wants to hear my prayers and all my needs, I won’t have growing faith. Like it has me stuck. I see God the Father as so amazingly powerful that the idea of asking for my tiny thing seems weird. Yet He wants me to. I am going to keep working on changing my thinking Rom 12:2. Hopefully it helps.
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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