Skip to main content

When Can We Stop Pretending?

 I can’t tell you how many times I have looked into someone’s eyes after they said, “Fine,” and knew that just wasn’t true. If we the church are supposed to bring our burdens to Lord together, why are we having to hide our troubles. Why are some problems considered insignificant or simply not appropriate. When I am laying on the bathroom floor trying to stay conscious is that really too indelicate for my God to handle. I think part of the reason why I have trouble asking him for help is because I spent so much of my life hiding pain. Making other people happy was the focus and truly that fuels the people pleaser to a point. But this isn’t just me. As I said, other people do it too: all the time! Sometimes because they don’t want to complain, and sometimes cause they just don’t won’t anyone to know. Okay, I get it. It’s private and so painful you just can’t share it, but it’s likely that like me you haven’t been able to ask God either. Like we’re keeping that problem all to ourselves. I am starting to think until I believe God wants to hear my prayers and all my needs, I won’t have growing faith. Like it has me stuck. I see God the Father as so amazingly powerful that the idea of asking for my tiny thing seems weird. Yet He wants me to. I am going to keep working on changing my thinking Rom 12:2. Hopefully it helps. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Kid Perspective

As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
3 comments
Read more

Up Again

Here I am awake again when I should be asleep. I am going to try to make it to bed before two tonight. I had an anxiety attach yesterday when my old psychiatrist office through a clerical error dropped me like a rock. I was supposed to have an appointment with a new doc all lined up, but first they lost the date in the computer and then they told me that the appointment should not have been made because the doctor was not willing to take on any more patients. The thing is I have been with that practice for three years now and they were supposed to refer me to another doctor not drop me and say call around and find someone else. Needless to say I did not handle it well. I like to plan ahead as much as possible. I had previously tried to find a new psych on my own and was having difficulty finding any. I had resigned myself to making due with the one there for the time being. I am going somewhere else now, but I am unsure how long the process will now take. I need new medication in a...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dark Place

I hate it when my mind insists on going there. The Dark place that is. You know the recesses of your mind where all the ugly stuff is hiding. I spent years of my early life stuffing the bad stuff away somewhere and pretending it wasn't there. It would peak out of the drawers and I would slam them shut again. Now my mind is this place where someone dumped out all the files and they are mixed up all over the floor. Sounds like fun doesn't it? I never know which file is going to get opened up next. I can't hide anything cause it's too mixed up. Today the files were opening up too many bad memories and I ask myself what on earth is going on. I am trying to be positive because with my tendency to exaggerate it isn't as bad as it seems. It is harder to do that when you get dumped a stack of stinky papers. I tried reading my Bible and praying, but it is hard to see the comfort when the guilt bus is parked out front. I have some work to do. Hopefully, next time I can be mor...
2 comments
Read more