A friend of mine recently talked about being in a hole and trying to dig his way out a little bit at a time. He said he wasn’t ready to come out of the hole yet because they still have some stuff to do. Today was one of those days when I felt the walls caving in and the dirt stacking up. I felt all those little things that I had been shoving to the side and ignoring falling down. I thought, even if I could accomplish one of those little things, the mound of all of them was just too much. Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever feel like you’ve given all you have and you’re still staring at a giant pile of junk? So I took the night off from trying to solve anything. Tomorrow I’ll get up and I’ll do what I need to do; one thing at a time. Maybe like my friend I’ll grab a little shovel and start digging out some dirt. It’s highly unlikely that all accomplish that much but maybe I’ll be ready to try.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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