A friend of mine recently talked about being in a hole and trying to dig his way out a little bit at a time. He said he wasn’t ready to come out of the hole yet because they still have some stuff to do. Today was one of those days when I felt the walls caving in and the dirt stacking up. I felt all those little things that I had been shoving to the side and ignoring falling down. I thought, even if I could accomplish one of those little things, the mound of all of them was just too much. Do you ever feel that way? Do you ever feel like you’ve given all you have and you’re still staring at a giant pile of junk? So I took the night off from trying to solve anything. Tomorrow I’ll get up and I’ll do what I need to do; one thing at a time. Maybe like my friend I’ll grab a little shovel and start digging out some dirt. It’s highly unlikely that all accomplish that much but maybe I’ll be ready to try.
I am trying to stop the people pleasing. Doing for others is wonderful when it’s healthy, but I now recognize there’s a line I shouldn’t cross. Problem is that I don’t always see the line. I asked for something today and yes, I felt guilty. Then I felt guilty for feeling guilty. Ug! This weekend I saw my limit come and go so I did walk away from some responsibilities I was unable to do. It felt good to be strong enough to do that and two days later I am a wimp again. Regardless, it’s on me to be honest not on my friends and family to guess. So trying and sometimes failing. I am thankful that God is still working. I realized that although it’s small, I have changed. All that to say, don’t give up on people too quickly.
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