I know these days it’s called “self care.” I don’t like that term because it supports the theory that taking time to take care of yourself is selfish. It’s not. I get burned out on caring for others and my body starts to break. I am realizing now that the physical and emotional weaknesses feed off each other. I am overtired, my mind is too full to process anymore. I spent today resting. I will be fine, but I needed a little time under the Father’s Wings. I usually feel guilty. Like my problems aren’t bad enough to be worthy of need, but I am learning to give them all over to Him. That He does want my everything. It might be too much for people to understand, but not for Jesus. I know all about getting up and powering through. I am learning to balance the when to push myself and when to not. There’s so much to do and I need to be able to function both physically and mentally. I have other friends with chronic illness silently they also suffer. This is only a day. Tomorrow will be better. We hope. And praise God we only have to get through today. Tomorrow will care for itself as the Bible says in Matthew.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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