I know these days it’s called “self care.” I don’t like that term because it supports the theory that taking time to take care of yourself is selfish. It’s not. I get burned out on caring for others and my body starts to break. I am realizing now that the physical and emotional weaknesses feed off each other. I am overtired, my mind is too full to process anymore. I spent today resting. I will be fine, but I needed a little time under the Father’s Wings. I usually feel guilty. Like my problems aren’t bad enough to be worthy of need, but I am learning to give them all over to Him. That He does want my everything. It might be too much for people to understand, but not for Jesus. I know all about getting up and powering through. I am learning to balance the when to push myself and when to not. There’s so much to do and I need to be able to function both physically and mentally. I have other friends with chronic illness silently they also suffer. This is only a day. Tomorrow will be better. We hope. And praise God we only have to get through today. Tomorrow will care for itself as the Bible says in Matthew.
Up in the wee hours of the morning, is yet another perk of being bipolar. Yes, that's sarcasm because unlike some, I don't like being like this. I started getting a little more hyper than usual and now I can't sleep. I slept for an hour or two when hubby woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep after. So I wasn't worried about anything, but I was wide awake. Even though I now feel tired, I still don't feel sleepy. It is hard to explain. Well I already took some calm down medicine and that didn't work so I am getting ready to take more. I use it only when I have to, but considering I need to function in a few hours I WILL consider this one of those times. I was excited about started school and I guess maybe I am going through an up cycle. That sort of makes sense since I had a down cycle in the beginning of the summer. I am glad that the cycles are much shorter than they used to be. I remember being tired and having little energy or ambition to do anyt...
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