I know these days it’s called “self care.” I don’t like that term because it supports the theory that taking time to take care of yourself is selfish. It’s not. I get burned out on caring for others and my body starts to break. I am realizing now that the physical and emotional weaknesses feed off each other. I am overtired, my mind is too full to process anymore. I spent today resting. I will be fine, but I needed a little time under the Father’s Wings. I usually feel guilty. Like my problems aren’t bad enough to be worthy of need, but I am learning to give them all over to Him. That He does want my everything. It might be too much for people to understand, but not for Jesus. I know all about getting up and powering through. I am learning to balance the when to push myself and when to not. There’s so much to do and I need to be able to function both physically and mentally. I have other friends with chronic illness silently they also suffer. This is only a day. Tomorrow will be better. We hope. And praise God we only have to get through today. Tomorrow will care for itself as the Bible says in Matthew.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
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