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Summer Clouds

 Some people love summer. They can't wait to feel the bright sun all the time. I find it harder to sleep in the summer as it's so bright for so long. I also have quite a lot of trouble with the heat. If I don't remember to drink twice as much, I get dehydrated; but all that is routine for most people when it's over ninety degrees outsides. Truly my issue this last couple of weeks has been my constant head spinning. I think it probably is anxiety. I love caring for people, but I think I got wacked with some unexpected grief. I don't usually get upset or cry in the moment. I am in be calm and take care mode. That means sometimes all that stuffed down emotion has to bubble to the surface unexpectedly. It hit me the other day and I was just weeping uncontrollably. I feel fine now, but my head is still a fuzz. That only scares me because I don't want to loose my ability to think clearly and function. That IS something we all take for granted I might add. I truly believe God allowed me to loose it for a very short time, so that I would have understanding to help these people who loose it more permanently. They are still in there. They are aware of how you treat them. The mind is such a complex thing. Even the memory. That the part of your brain that stores memories is in a separate place as the part the stores music. If I loose it again, know that I am still in there somewhere. I needed to vent it out, I can't talk about it much with anyone, cause they dismiss me, don't take me seriously, or can't handle discussing it. I need to know I can talk it out without having to pay one hundred plus dollars an hour when it's needed.  

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