I wrote a poem about grief for someone else. Now as I read it, I wish that I felt less alone in it. I have stopped myself from going there over and over the last few days and now… Regrets are hard to carry. Nothing can change what is all done. As for heavenly results, why not let Jesus decide. If you think you can look at someone else and decide what they deserve, you’re going to be disappointed. “ His mercy is everlasting…”(Ps100). I believe only God knows the heart. Although I fail often, I follow along in His steps. It’s important not too skip ahead of His steps, but to keep walking in them. I picture a child walking on the beach trying to walk in his Daddy’s footprints. That’s us! I reflected on the compassion of Jesus too yesterday. He saw these people as sheep without a Shepherd and had compassion on them. When Jesus saw people lost, confused, He didn’t say,” Why are they like this?” He knew. People need the Truth. Jesus is the Truth. People need Him.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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