My verse for the day from my devotional is Romans 8:28, “ And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are called according to his purpose.” I have a couple thoughts on this verse. First work together for means it hasn’t happened yet. It can be hard to find the positive when you’re in the middle of a struggle that isn’t ending. Only God can see the why of that particular struggle. I also believe obstacles are often put in our path for our protection. We can’t see what might be ahead, but God can. Preventing us from moving or going a particular way is often protecting us from harm. It’s hard not knowing why. It’s hard when you pray and get no answers. I don’t think that’s because God is ignoring me, but that He is telling me to wait. It’s not easy to wait either, but the working together for good has to come from God. I can’t push the cart myself and expect to get anywhere. “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1. Same Psalm that says, “Be still and know that I am God…” I don’t have answers to anything. I just have to stop and wait. After the storm, then we sometimes have more clarity. But in it, not so much.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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