Sometimes when I am overwhelmed, the only thing that makes me feel better is to write. I have been feeling weary. That old word seems to fit best. I have cried with people mourning, and I have cried my own tears. Physically I am up and down as well. Not feeling great. Lots of headaches lately. I was at church and the thought came to me that nothing is ever going to change. And once again feeling pulled in two different directions, but not at home in either place. It definitely makes me ask why God. How am in this place again? I know He still has things for me to do. But lately I have been too weak to do anything. You see my assignment doesn’t come from a Pastor or person. My assignment comes from God. Right now that is unclear. Psalm 121 comes to mind,” I will lift up my eyes upon the hills from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD…”.
Up in the wee hours of the morning, is yet another perk of being bipolar. Yes, that's sarcasm because unlike some, I don't like being like this. I started getting a little more hyper than usual and now I can't sleep. I slept for an hour or two when hubby woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep after. So I wasn't worried about anything, but I was wide awake. Even though I now feel tired, I still don't feel sleepy. It is hard to explain. Well I already took some calm down medicine and that didn't work so I am getting ready to take more. I use it only when I have to, but considering I need to function in a few hours I WILL consider this one of those times. I was excited about started school and I guess maybe I am going through an up cycle. That sort of makes sense since I had a down cycle in the beginning of the summer. I am glad that the cycles are much shorter than they used to be. I remember being tired and having little energy or ambition to do anyt...
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