When you are carrying trauma, it can cause you to misjudge situations. It can also cause you to overreact out of fear or self preservation. When the storm is over, you’ve lost another friend. Now I am dealing with the trauma and keeping a safe distance from my friends. I can’t undo the past, but I can learn from it. Some days however, it feels like I am standing in a graveyard of my own making. I see myself all alone because I don’t know how to heal. If the story ended there, it would sound so hopeless. My God who made heaven and earth; sees me. He knows exactly who I am. He made me this way for a purpose. Psalm 139 “even there” there is no place I can go where God will abandon me. People will reject you, misunderstand you, and abandon you, but God never will. Paul had a few skeletons in his closet. He called himself the chief of sinners, yet Paul said “…forgetting those things that are behind, and reaching forth unto those things that are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God.”Philippians 3:14-14
Up in the wee hours of the morning, is yet another perk of being bipolar. Yes, that's sarcasm because unlike some, I don't like being like this. I started getting a little more hyper than usual and now I can't sleep. I slept for an hour or two when hubby woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep after. So I wasn't worried about anything, but I was wide awake. Even though I now feel tired, I still don't feel sleepy. It is hard to explain. Well I already took some calm down medicine and that didn't work so I am getting ready to take more. I use it only when I have to, but considering I need to function in a few hours I WILL consider this one of those times. I was excited about started school and I guess maybe I am going through an up cycle. That sort of makes sense since I had a down cycle in the beginning of the summer. I am glad that the cycles are much shorter than they used to be. I remember being tired and having little energy or ambition to do anyt...
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