When you are carrying trauma, it can cause you to misjudge situations. It can also cause you to overreact out of fear or self preservation. When the storm is over, you’ve lost another friend. Now I am dealing with the trauma and keeping a safe distance from my friends. I can’t undo the past, but I can learn from it. Some days however, it feels like I am standing in a graveyard of my own making. I see myself all alone because I don’t know how to heal. If the story ended there, it would sound so hopeless. My God who made heaven and earth; sees me. He knows exactly who I am. He made me this way for a purpose. Psalm 139 “even there” there is no place I can go where God will abandon me. People will reject you, misunderstand you, and abandon you, but God never will. Paul had a few skeletons in his closet. He called himself the chief of sinners, yet Paul said “…forgetting those things that are behind, and reaching forth unto those things that are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God.”Philippians 3:14-14
I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo
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