Skip to main content

The Road Ahead is Foggy

 I have been overwhelmed for a while now. I try not to be swept up into anxiety, but it creeps up on me. That leads to mania in my quest to avoid the anxiety which makes everything worse. I stay up too late and find myself staring into space fighting sleep. Eventually I start getting confused in the daytime. This has happened to me over and over so it’s nothing new. This time I truly had trouble seeing the sign in the dark and drove the wrong direction, but didn’t recognize it was wrong until I drove a couple exits. Sometimes I will be driving along and forget where I am going. It’s like my mind is tired of working. I do believe this has helped me understand dementia not just have compassion for it. When your mind just goes blank , and there’s nothing there. Yes, I know what that feels like. I know I talk to much when I am manic. It’s like being outside your own body and watching the car crash, but not being able to stop it. I am okay. Just tired and stressed. Too much , too much, huge stuff all at once. My brain has decided to protest. I still believe God made me this way on purpose! I have greater compassion, and creativity because of it. I just wish I could trust people would try a little harder to understand. Hebrews 4. Got to remember Jesus does.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Fall Keeps Falling

I am running out of good title ideas. Maybe I need to unlock comments again.(: Anyway, I am having a challenge this raining morning. Afternoon now. Yikes! I still feel achy since mt flu shot last week. I can't seem to get anything done. Not even sure where to start. I think there's been an avalanche and I am under it all. If my therapist was here she would tell me to make a list. Somehow magically that will work. I tried to do my vision exercises and my eyes wouldn't coorperate so there something physical. Probably head pressure from the allergies. So herein is the deal. I will try to get a space cleared and then call it a day.
Post a Comment
Read more

Confessions

I am starting my own blog to reduce my boredom and give me a place to put my thoughts. Recently some people I know put some very difficult words out for all the world to see. I have been chicken to do the same and now I want to set the record straight. I didn't talk to people from high school for over ten years. It seems so silly now. I found out recently that I'm not the only one who grew up in college and beyond. We aren't kids anymore so the past is just that the past. I'll admit some of it I don't want to remember, but we did have some fun times in high school. The truth is something happened to me that I was not at all ready to talk about so I just avoided people. I got married in 1998 to a really great guy I met in college. We were giddy and in love. We decided after nine months of bliss to have a baby. Why not? I was bored and we wanted one. That sounds terrible to say that, but it is true. Boom one month later I was expecting. Three months later Jo...
3 comments
Read more

Ansomnia

Up in the wee hours of the morning, is yet another perk of being bipolar. Yes, that's sarcasm because unlike some, I don't like being like this. I started getting a little more hyper than usual and now I can't sleep. I slept for an hour or two when hubby woke me up and I couldn't get back to sleep after. So I wasn't worried about anything, but I was wide awake. Even though I now feel tired, I still don't feel sleepy. It is hard to explain. Well I already took some calm down medicine and that didn't work so I am getting ready to take more. I use it only when I have to, but considering I need to function in a few hours I WILL consider this one of those times. I was excited about started school and I guess maybe I am going through an up cycle. That sort of makes sense since I had a down cycle in the beginning of the summer. I am glad that the cycles are much shorter than they used to be. I remember being tired and having little energy or ambition to do anyt...
2 comments
Read more