Sometimes when my brain is going too fast, I am full of so many words. I desperately need to get them out so that I can think straight. Unfortunately, there’s no way I can explode all on anyone. That means the brain keeps spinning. At least with the writing, I have a way to unload some of it. Thinking about the future is pretty terrifying. It’s not so much the getting old thing, but rather “Now what?” I have been doing a read Bible in a year app and truly it’s getting to me. I know the Bible, but reading so much at once with no time to process isn’t going well. But I have never read it all together so it’s happening. A lot of things are overwhelming right now, and I feel like a failure daily. It still bugs me that you can’t say, I am in a lot of pain today because of my diverticulitis. So I put a smile on my face and just went. Truly did my best, but somehow that wasn’t good enough. How should I handle other people’s unrealistic expectations? I see God’s harsh seriousness in the Old Testament, but even with it, you can see His merciful side. “His mercy endureth forever,” is written over and over in Scripture. I was looking for the place where it says He will have mercy on who He will have mercy, but I haven’t found it yet. At least with God’s expectations we know what He wants, and He offers to help us do it. Enough with everyone else. I’m tired. Thought dump over.
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