A stranger told me recently that I don’t value myself. She was some kind of natural doctor. Fact is she wasn’t too far off the mark. I am into a second week with diverticulitis flair up. I passed out in the middle of the night. This morning I feel tired and sore. I am thankful I didn’t injure myself just laid down on the floor. I went to church this morning to do my children’s church duties, but no kids today so I went home. I decided that I should rest while I can. Yes, I will be fine, but at my age I just don’t bounce back as quickly as I used to. Not to mention going out in public when I am all bloated is anything, but fun. Okay , I complained. On the plus side, got my favorite flavor of Gatorade here. Going to try to relax. Yesterday, I had Bible study with friends and it was great. When you feel free to share with each other God’s truth and truly encourage each other in the Lord…. That should be church. For me I guess it is. This other thing is just a place I go to do a thing.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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