I feel the need to vent some feelings. I haven’t seen my therapist in months because she’s taken a leave of absence. My mind is overwhelmed and I really want to dig a whole and jump in. The election is a dumpster fire. I have no respect for any of the people I have to choose from to vote. It’s all a game to them, but this is our life. Disaster devastation is ongoing from hurricane Helene at the moment. War overseas is ongoing. People are fighting for the right to live outside the boxes of God’s design. It really is the beginning of end. Yet I wake up feeling dread and struggling to get up. I feel broken in ways that can’t be fixed. I know God hasn’t left me, but the more anxious I become the further away He feels. Psalm121 comes to mind,” I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD which made heaven and earth.”( Psalm 121:1-2) I am off to look to the hills. Hopefully tomorrow I can think differently.
As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me
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