Well, I was all set to be obnoxious and say I love my husband. But I will spare you the ick🤣. Tried to go to bed at a reasonable hour and started choking on mucus so not sleeping. My husband needs to sleep now more than I do so hopefully after something hot to drink I can try again. I had a lot of sinus pressure the last few days so unfortunately everything probably started going into my throat. Honestly, I am trying not be affected by my circumstances. Meaning this time of the year I could be really depressed. I am trying to focus on all the blessings I have, but in the quiet sometimes it’s a struggle. I get to feeling lonely and then I get around people and feel overwhelmed. Then I ask myself, what’s wrong with me? Truly I enjoy my time with friends, but it winds me up so much that I have to calm way down. I remember sleepovers when I was a kid. We’d stay up as long as we possibly could. Eating Doritos in the middle of the night is not for those with weak stomachs. Then we’d go home and sleep all day. So grown up me sometimes needs time to recover from all that social activity. I like sitting in a quiet room and reading a book. My most favorite happy place would be somewhere outside. A brook, the woods, mountains, anything beautiful. It’s never completely quiet in the city. I used to like that. Now I wouldn’t mind a little less noise. But seriously 😐! I just wanted to write something. I am thankful God gives me what I need rather than what I want. He definitely knows me better than I know myself. A friend has been struggling with eternal security. I can certainly understand the fear of judgment. God is so powerful that He could snuff us all out in a moment. Yet why would He sacrifice His own Son if Jesus blood wasn’t enough to save us? If we have to work to earn our seat in Heaven than Jesus died for nothing. I like Roman’s 5:8,” But God commendeth (showed) His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” Too tired. Goodnight 😴
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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