Skip to main content

This and That

Well, I was all set to be obnoxious and say I love my husband. But I will spare you the ickšŸ¤£. Tried to go to bed at a reasonable hour and started choking on mucus so not sleeping. My husband needs to sleep now more than I do so hopefully after something hot to drink I can try again. I had a lot of sinus pressure the last few days so unfortunately everything probably started going into my throat. Honestly, I am trying not be affected by my circumstances. Meaning this time of the year I could be really depressed. I am trying to focus on all the blessings I have, but in the quiet sometimes itā€™s a struggle. I get to feeling lonely and then I get around people and feel overwhelmed. Then I ask myself, whatā€™s wrong with me? Truly I enjoy my time with friends, but it winds me up so much that I have to calm way down. I remember sleepovers when I was a kid. Weā€™d stay up as long as we possibly could. Eating Doritos in the middle of the night is not for those with weak stomachs. Then weā€™d go home and sleep all day. So grown up me sometimes needs time to recover from all that social activity. I like sitting in a quiet room and reading a book. My most favorite happy place would be somewhere outside. A brook, the woods, mountains, anything beautiful. Itā€™s never completely quiet in the city. I used to like that. Now I wouldnā€™t mind a little less noise. But seriously šŸ˜! I just wanted to write something. I am thankful God gives me what I need rather than what I want. He definitely knows me better than I know myself. A friend has been struggling with eternal security. I can certainly understand the fear of judgment. God is so powerful that He could snuff us all out in a moment. Yet why would He sacrifice His own Son if Jesus blood wasnā€™t enough to save us? If we have to work to earn our seat in Heaven than Jesus died for nothing. I like Romanā€™s 5:8,ā€ But God commendeth (showed) His love toward us in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.ā€ Too tired. Goodnight šŸ˜“ 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Kid Perspective

As a kid I watched my parents fight about different things. I don't really have any other parents to compare them to so I can't really say whether they were normal fights couples have or not. I couldn't even say what most of them were about except the ones that were about me. We only ate as a family on holidays. My father came home late so we kids ate without him. I do remember spending time with him in the evening before I went to bed so it couldn't have been that late. My own husband gets home a little later because of his job commute so we eat late every night. But home schooling has given us the ability to be more flexible than my Mom was able to be. We had school early the next day. As I got older, I remember my Father being home less and less and the fights seemed to intensify. I remember one night when I was thirteen. I could hear them yelling through the wall. My mom found me crying and I told her I didn't want them to get a divorce. She told me...
3 comments
Read more

Up Again

Here I am awake again when I should be asleep. I am going to try to make it to bed before two tonight. I had an anxiety attach yesterday when my old psychiatrist office through a clerical error dropped me like a rock. I was supposed to have an appointment with a new doc all lined up, but first they lost the date in the computer and then they told me that the appointment should not have been made because the doctor was not willing to take on any more patients. The thing is I have been with that practice for three years now and they were supposed to refer me to another doctor not drop me and say call around and find someone else. Needless to say I did not handle it well. I like to plan ahead as much as possible. I had previously tried to find a new psych on my own and was having difficulty finding any. I had resigned myself to making due with the one there for the time being. I am going somewhere else now, but I am unsure how long the process will now take. I need new medication in a...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Dark Place

I hate it when my mind insists on going there. The Dark place that is. You know the recesses of your mind where all the ugly stuff is hiding. I spent years of my early life stuffing the bad stuff away somewhere and pretending it wasn't there. It would peak out of the drawers and I would slam them shut again. Now my mind is this place where someone dumped out all the files and they are mixed up all over the floor. Sounds like fun doesn't it? I never know which file is going to get opened up next. I can't hide anything cause it's too mixed up. Today the files were opening up too many bad memories and I ask myself what on earth is going on. I am trying to be positive because with my tendency to exaggerate it isn't as bad as it seems. It is harder to do that when you get dumped a stack of stinky papers. I tried reading my Bible and praying, but it is hard to see the comfort when the guilt bus is parked out front. I have some work to do. Hopefully, next time I can be mor...
2 comments
Read more