As of today, I am getting better a little bit at a time. Like the drip, drip of a faucet I get just a little better every day. Concentration still causes physical pain. My brain is tired and that’s all there is to it. The medicine I’m on for that makes me sleep. Hopefully eventually I’ll have enough sleep. I feel like I am watching other people’s lives while I sit on the couch eating popcorn. I know God is still on the throne as someone I used to go to would say. Nothing takes Him by surprise. God wants me to sit in quiet with Him. I took for granted the quiet until it was gone. We all need quiet time with the Father. Sit on a rock. Enjoy the peace. Philippians 4:6-7 tells us not to anxious, but to give our concerns over to God. Then in verse seven He gives us peace.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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