I woke up this morning around 8:30 and decided to go back to sleep. There is a Scripture that has been on my mind lately. Luke chapter ten verses 41-42. Jesus says to Martha,”…Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things : But one thing is needful: And Mary hath chosen that good part which shall not be taken away from her. Don’t get too excited; I am not encouraging people to skip church. I am giving myself permission to rest my body when that is needed more. I can pray and worship right here. Sometimes we push ourselves to the edge of unhealthy just because we’re concerned people won’t understand. I can’t worry about those people right now. I choose the more needful thing. To worship in private this morning. And show up rested later.
I feel not so much a storm as a little shower of emotional rain. My mind is filled to the brim with thoughts and trying not to go batty trying to sort them through on my own. Then I start feeling isolated as I have no one to talk to. I have therapy next week so I will talk then for sure. It’s not even anything bad; it’s just so full I am thinking out loud. That never bothered me before, but now I am feeling unsteady. I have talked to myself my whole life. I am certainly not going to stop now, but it feels like a gateway to the enemy deceiving me all over again. He can disguise his voice to sound like anyone else. So if my thoughts are out loud, I’m Vulnerable. I miss my friends. I have a few here and there . I miss lighthearted fun. I am just waiting for God to pull the curtain on this season and to start to feel more like myself again. I’m not asking God for anything He doesn’t want me to have, I just need to get through this little shower. I know God still has things for me to d...
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